How to “flip the script” on a negative situation

We’ve all been there my friend. Something happens that is completely out of our control, and it ruins our day or week or more. You can’t stop dwelling on it.

Maybe it’s a coworker that really gets under your skin. Maybe it’s your spouse who keeps repeating the same actions that irritate you. Whatever it is, something negative happens and you really let it get you down.

Have you heard the term “why don’t you flip the script”? What does this term mean to you?

Here is how to flip the script in your head to turn ANY negative situation into something positive and productive in your life.

You can’t change the circumstance so stop wallowing.

I hate to say it, but whatever happened can’t be changed. I am a reforming control freak (still working on it), and one thing I know for sure is you can’t control external situations or what other people do, think or feel. There is absolutely no point to wallowing or rehashing a situation over and over again, unless something positive can come out of it.

Let it go woman! Channel your inner Elsa, and let it go. It’s a lot easier said than done, but the next three steps will help you to understand how you can let it go and move on with your life. Get out a pen and paper, and start writing. You can do these three steps in any order.

//What is the thought you have?

Write down the exact thought you keep telling yourself after this uncontrollable situation happened. For example, the circumstance could be that your partner breaks up with you. The thought you might have after this is “I am not good enough to be loved”. Write down just one sentence that you are telling yourself. This thought is going to be at the root of how you feel about this situation forever unless you change it.

//Figure out your emotions

How do you feel about what just happened? Sad? Pissed off? Lonely? Choose the one emotion you feel most strongly in this exact moment and write it down. Let’s go to the break up scenario. Once your partner has ended the relationship, you might feel lonely. My first suggestion is to let yourself really feel this emotion. Get deep in it. Meditate on it. Write it down and move onto the next step.

//Actions come from our emotions

You may not realize this, but actions are driven by EMOTIONS. Let’s go back to the example above. A breakup leads you to feel lonely. The actions that might come from that loneliness is withdrawal from social situations. Withdrawing from social situations may give you the thought that you’re not good enough to be loved because no one is spending time with you, which leads to feeling lonely which leads to withdrawal from social situations. Make sense?

So to review…

Circumstance happens out of our control

We tell ourselves something about that circumstance. We have a thought.

That thought causes us to feel a certain emotion (good or bad)

That emotions leads to action.

What if we flipped the script about a negative situation?

Take the break up. Someone ends a relationship with you. Rather than telling yourself “i am not good enough” what if we said “their loss, they just weren’t ready for me :)”. Now, you’re feeling rather confident and not lonely. In your confidence you sign up for a meet up group or go out with friends, and you meet someone new?

It’s all possible, but we HAVE to stop feeding ourselves these negative thoughts and instead think of a positive alternative. The ripple effect can be beautiful!

Have you turned a negative situation into a positive simply by changing your thoughts? Share with me below! 


About Stephanie

Stephanie Benton is a STOTT PILATES Certified instructor and recently became a mom! She holds a BA in Dance from California State University Long Beach, and has a passion for helping new moms reconnect with their physical and emotional selves after starting a family. Cohesive Fitness is a place to learn to simplify your life, health and family priorities.
  • The Pennies We Saved

    Great advice! I used to let the negativity of other get me down. But not anymore! I constantly remind myself that I’m not here to please people that I don’t know and not everyone is going to like me or the things that I do.

  • Stephanie Benton

    Yes absolutely! I have another post planned about how we cannot change what others think, using pretty much the same steps. I have always been a people pleaser, but since becoming a mom I have started to care less about others thoughts and feelings about me and focused more on my feelings about myself. 🙂